Technology & Internet

Your loved one has deployed. Your emotions may run the range from anger to sorrow. It seems as if your world has turned upside down. Don't feel bad, that is natural. It is normal for you to feel those emotions. This a very difficult time for you and your deployed spouse. If you have children, it is also an especially difficult time for them.

So what do we do? Well, the one thing we shouldn't be doing is to go on feeling sorry for ourselves. Frankly, we just don't have the luxury or the time to feel sorry for ourselves, especially if we have children that are depending on us. As miltary spouses, we knew that deployment was quite likely for our soldier. It is natural for us to feel sad, worried, and frustrated during these times but we've got to find a way to make peace with it so that we can be strong for our children and for our deployed spouse. This is a difficult time for our deployed spouses as well and they can't give their full attention to what they need to do if they are worried about us going to pieces back home.

How do we find the strength to push past our tattered emotions and do what we need to do while our spouses are deployed?

Pray
The single most important thing that we can do is to go to our Heavenly Father. Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (also known as Mormons) believe in the power of prayer. The Lord himself has directed, "Pray always, and I will pour out my Spirit upon you and great shall be your blessing."(D&C 19:38) We need to confess our concerns to Him and ask Him to bless us so that we can have the strength to deal with this challenge. Begin and end each day with a prayer. President Thomas S. Monson pleaded with us to pray earnestly. He continued, "Perhaps there has never been a time when we had greater need to pray and to teach our family members to pray...It is through earnest and heartfelt prayer that we can receive the needed blessings and the support required to make our way in this sometimes difficult and challenging journey we call mortality."

Ask For Help
Get your support system to rally around you. Let your extended family know what they can do to help you. Most of us are surrounded by wonderful friends and neighbors that are willing to lend a hand, whether it is picking up the kids from school, or lending a shoulder for you to cry on. Use these resources. The military community also has several resources to help you during this period. Contact the Family Readiness Group for your unit. Your Family Readiness Group is an important link between you and your deployed soldier so find out how to get involved in this group. Ask for help from your Church community. As a military spouse, one of my greatest support comes from the women's organization of my Church, the Relief Society. My membership in this wonderful sisterhood is such a blessing in my life especially in times like these. Their acts of charity and service strengthens and lifts me up when I need it the most.

Take A Class
If possible, enroll in a college class or take one online. Use this time to pursue that education you've been meaning to get to. If this isn't possible, learn a new skill. It can be anything. For example, I've always wanted to take a class on floral arrangement, and photography but have never had the time to do so before. Now would be a good time to do so. Pursuing an education (whatever that education may be) helps to keep your mind busy in a worthwhile endeavor and less time to dwell on the fact that your spouse is deployed. Perhaps the only class you'll have time for is that exercise class you've been meaning to take at your local gym. Do it. Sign up and go. Most gyms offer child care for young children so if that has been your excuse, it really shouldn't be. You'll not only feel great but you'll also look wonderful.

Deployment is difficult. It is one of the hardest things a spouse has to go through. I pray that all of us who are military spouses will be able to find the strength that we need for times such as these. My faith is a great blessing to me. Knowing and understanding the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints gives me the peace of mind to face what needs to be faced. It gives me the strength to carry on so that I can be the parent that my children need me to be and the wife that my military husband needs me to be. I hope that each of you can find that strength in your faith and religion. If you would like to know more about our Mormon religion, please visit the official Church websites at www.lds.org and www.mormons.org.

When all is said and done, we of this Church are people of peace. We are followers of our Redeemer, the Lord Jesus Christ, who was the Prince of Peace. But even He said, “Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.” (Matt. 10:34)

This places us in the position of those who long for peace, who teach peace, who work for peace, but who also are citizens of nations and are subject to the laws of our governments. Furthermore, we are a freedom-loving people, committed to the defense of liberty wherever it is in jeopardy. I believe that God will not hold men and women in uniform responsible as agents of their government in carrying forward that which they are legally obligated to do. It may even be that He will hold us responsible if we try to impede or hedge up the way of those who are involved in a contest with forces of evil and repression.
(President Gordon B. Hinckley, 15th Prophet and President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints).

President Hinckley's quote above echoes the sentiments of members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (also known as Mormons) who are serving in our nation's military. Like faithful Mormons everywhere else, faithful Mormons in the military strive to live their lives according to their beliefs. They are also honor bound to fulfill the duties of a soldier. I'm sure that other soldiers of different faiths share these sentiments. They have no love of war and of conflict but they will fight to preserve our liberty, our families, and our way of life.

And so they go on, heeding the call to leave their families and loved ones in the cause for which they've given an oath.

Military deployment is hard on everyone. Even when it is expected, it is still a difficult adjustment for everyone, soldiers as well as their families. While there is no good way to ease the pain of separation, being prepared can help lessen other concerns and anxieties. You and your family need to prepare emotionally and physically for an extended separation. In short, you need to prepare every needful thing.

Inform Your Family
Let your spouse know as soon as you find out about a possible deployment. Discuss any plans for your family while you are gone. Will they stay where they are? Will they move to be closer to family? It is helpful to have these kinds of questions answered before you talk to the children together. The children will have a lot of questions so be prepared. They need to know that they will be well taken care of while you're gone. Encourage your children to talk about their feelings concerning the deployment and share yours as well.

Get Your Finances In Order
Discuss all financial matters with your spouse before you deploy. If you normally pay the monthly bills for your household, you need to make sure that your spouse is aware of when bills are due and how much you normally pay. Discuss options in case of an emergency.

Get Your Legal Documents In Order
There may be some legal matters that come up in your absence. Prepare or update power of attorney and wills.

Spend Quality Time Together
Plan special activities for the whole family as well as some one-on-one activities with each family member. Take lots of pictures and help your children make a special photo album of those activities. Don't forget to spend time with elderly parents. They will also be affected when you deploy so take the time to go visit them as a family.

Talk To Your Church Leaders
Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have another wonderful support system in place - their ward (local Church unit). Talk to your Bishop (Church leader for the local unit) and other ward leaders. Let them know how long you'll be gone and share any other concerns you may have about your family with them. They can be a great resource especially if you don't have any other family nearby. Ask them for a special blessing not only for you but for your family as well. Members of other faiths have a similar option available to them. Talk to your religious leader and seek their blessing for you and your family. Your church community will also be a great comfort to your family.

If you are preparing to deploy or are already deployed, please know that you are in our prayers. We are grateful for your sacrifice and your service. Please know that we will continue to pray for all of our men and women to return home safely to their loved ones and for this conflict to end.

To our brothers and sisters in harm’s way, we say that we pray for you. We pray that the Lord will watch over you and preserve you from injury and that you may return home and pick up your lives again. We know that you are not in that land of blowing sand and brutal heat because you enjoy the games of war. The strength of your commitment is measured by your willingness to give your very lives for that in which you believe. (President Gordon B. Hinckley).

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. (Ephesians 6:10-12)

I've been thinking about the Apostle Paul's counsel a lot these last few days. I can't help but reflect on how much these words apply to all of us today. I want to talk for a moment specifically with those of you my brothers and sisters in the military.

To all of you who are serving in the military, may I first express my thanks and my love. I pray that our Lord will bless you and your families abundantly during the Christmas season. If you are deployed I pray that you will return safely to your loved ones soon.

As soldiers and followers of Christ, I know that you often find yourselves in situations where your beliefs and values are constantly challenged. One such situation is the language that is often spoken around you. Swearing appears to be commonplace in many military circles. Whether you are a Mormon (or member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) or a member of another faith, swearing or foul language is not the language of one who is strong in the Lord. Do not be a party to it. The language that we speak, or listen to, does affect us.

Put on the whole armor of God. When our kids were younger, they used to love putting on my husband's protective gear whenever he brought them home. They looked so funny because all that stuff covered them pretty much from head to toe. In a real situation, all of you would don this same gear in order to protect yourselves from expected dangers and attacks. You wouldn't dare to step out without this armor. Just as you don a metal armor to protect you from physical harm, so too should you put on the whole armor of God in order to withstand temptations and other workings of the devil. Unlike your metal armor that you take off when the physical danger is averted, the whole armor of God is something that you must never take off. You must wear it always for this enemy never rests or gives up.

What is the whole armor of God and how do we put it on? Elder Russell M. Ballard (of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles) offered this wonderful analogy:

I like to think of this spiritual armor not as a solid piece of metal molded to fit the body but more like chain mail. Chain mail consists of dozens of tiny pieces of steel fastened together to allow the user greater flexibility without losing protection. I say that because it has been my experience that there is not one great and grand thing we can do to arm ourselves spiritually. True spiritual power lies in numerous smaller acts woven together in a fabric of spiritual fortification that protects and shields from all evil.

The Apostle Paul said that in this battle we are not fighting against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Unlike conventional warfare, we will not always see our attackers or where the attacks are coming from in the battle that Apostle Paul is talking about. We are fighting against rulers of darkness and those who would destroy everything good and spiritual if they had their way. Perhaps, there is nowwhere is this more evident than on the Internet.

Many who do not believe in God are using the Internet to push their opinions on others and destroy the sanctity of homes and families. All of us who say that we follow Jesus Christ can use the Internet to tell the whole world we do believe. All of us who say that we are strong in the Lord must also use the Internet to proclaim the truth. I'm sure that we are all doing a little bit already. We need to do more.

Here are a few suggestions of what you can write about online:

• Tell us about your unique perspective on being a Mormon or a member of any other faith in the military.
• Share an experience you've had that has strengthened your faith in God.
• Send out email or other online notifications about your group's worship activities and invite other soldiers to join you.
• Tell us how putting on the whole armor of God helped you stand against the wiles of devil.
• Post your testimonies of Jesus Christ on a blog such as this or start one.
• Share with the world how your faith is helping you as a soldier like this blog I discovered recently by Chaplain Kline.

As a military wife, I want to thank you all for the examples you've been in our lives. Our association with our fellow military families has enriched our lives and brought so many rewarding friendships with men, women, and children of all faiths. My life has been blessed abundantly because of the rich diversity in the military community. I will always be grateful and proud to be a part of this military family. May God bless and keep you all!

This must be my day for all things military since I just posted about the Army of Helaman. Probably because Veteran's day is just around the corner. It is what I feel prompted to write today so hang in there.

When my active duty husband left to go for an extended military training he received a special blessing from our Stake President. At the time, my husband was serving in the Bishopric of our ward. Since my husband was going to be gone for over six months he needed to be released so our Stake President was in attendance at our Sacrament meeting that Sunday. As is customary in our ward when any member of the Stake Presidency is in attendance, he is usually given a few minutes to speak towards the end of the service. On this occasion our Stake President also gave the closing prayer. It was in this prayer that he asked for one of the most special blessings that I've ever heard for my husband.

You should know that our Stake President is a veteran. He served in Vietnam as a young man so he is fully aware of the kind of environment that the military can be. In his prayer, he asked our Heavenly Father to bless my husband so that "he would be strong, that he would be able to withstand the many temptations that will be thrust upon him, that he would remember who he was, that he would be a soldier for the Lord, and that he would return with honor to his family." I believe everyone that was in attendance that day felt the power of that blessing. I know I certainly did.

During the months that followed, my husband would call me frequently and talk to me about this blessing. He talked about how the words of this prayer came to him when he needed it the most. He talked about the many temptations that were indeed placed in his path but he never once wavered. Tempations such as inappropriate movies on television or on the Internet. Tempations such as his soldier buddies asking that he go with them to places that he knew would be offensive to the Lord. Temptations such as forgoing Sunday worship because he was so tired from having to train all night long the night before. Tempations such as being a party to foul language and humor.

He did return with honor. He was and still to this day a soldier for the Lord just as much as he is a soldier for his country. He really is my very own Captain Moroni!

What's my point? My point is that all of you who serve in the military can all be soldiers for the Lord. The environment and circumstances you find yourselves in are not always going to be ideal. They are not always going to be conducive to the Spirit. However, if you remember to rely on the Lord and to remain strong in the path of righteousness, you too can return with honor. Some of our General Authorities are veterans. They are men who served their country well. They did so without sacrificing their values and their beliefs in the gospel and in Christ. Look to them for guidance and inspiration.

You can be a soldier for the Lord simply by your example. In a message specifically for those in the military, President Hinckley said, "Your example will become a quiet and powerful testimony of the convictions of your heart. There are thousands of members of the Church today because of the example of men in the service. We have a mission in Europe which is responsible for the work in the Mediterranean. We noticed the converts suddenly increased tremendously in numbers in that mission. And one of the brethren who was responsible for that area came back and gave a glowing report on how the converts had increased in that mission. We did a little checking and discovered that 90 percent of the converts that were made in that mission when things took a surge were made by our brethren in the service who were on military bases in the areas for which this mission was responsible."

This coming Monday we will officially remember all our veterans who gave so much for the freedoms that we all enjoy. I thank you, you've given me a gift that I can never repay you for. Those of you who are now serving in the military, I thank you also for your courage and love. Whether you are a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or of another faith, I pray that our God, who loves us all, protect and bless you and yours.